So here's parte dos of the relationship posts -- the first one is here, and it's just about human relationships in general. Now let's move on to romantic relationships. WOOT!
*Disclaimer* I'm not a dating expert. I don't have a fantastic track record. But hey, what better thing to do with mistakes than to learn from them? HOLLA! Okay, so first of all, a shout-out to all my single ladiez (and gents)!! This post mostly only applies to those who aren't in romantic relationships right now.
Lately, I've been wrestling with what to do with our desires to be in a romantic relationship. These desires are good and healthy and human, but sometimes what we do with those desires makes all of the difference. I am praying right now for my desires for God to be greater than my desire to be in a relationship.
Sometimes I say to myself, "well okay, I'm not in a relationship right now, and that's okay. It's actually fine and lovely," but then I start fantasizing about the future and thinking about any future relationships I might be in. Even though I'm not looking to date anyone right now, I still yearn for someone in the future to be there. I want to share my life with somebody some day, and sometimes I find myself daydreaming or fantasizing about that person (even if I don't know who it will exactly be) or what it will be like. Now moderate curiosity is no problem and it's sometimes fun to wonder about the future. But sometimes I try to convince myself that by doing this, I am preparing myself for a future relationship. I think that by reflecting upon my relational future, I am slowly preparing myself for a healthy relationship. But this is wrong. That's not the best way that I can prepare. For me, thinking about my future partner right now is actually not productive.
So for all you lovely, single people out there -- let's be productive with our time now. The way that we can most efficiently and effectively prepare for our relational features is to pursue God now. I don't need to work on myself in order to make me a more attractive candidate to be a girlfriend. I don't need to fantasize about what I want in a significant other or who might make me happy or whatever. I need to focus on my relationship with God, the most important relationship of all. Whether you're single or not, your most valued relationship should be with God. And He's always pursuing us. We don't have to wait for Him to be interested in us. He is already interested, even when we don't feel super interesting. Seeking God now is practical preparation for a romantic relationship in the future. It is not a passive thing to do in the meantime while I'm still single. And even more, I can praise and seek God in my singleness, even if I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
God can purify, cleanse, and direct my heart now so that I can be more prepared to have a blessed, edifying relationship with someone later.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Relationships: Part I
Yep, you heard right, this post is about relationships! I will be splitting up this topic into two posts -- this first one is about human relationships in general and the next one will be about romantic relationships. LEZ GO!
During the past year, God has been revealing some pretty incredible and difficult truths about my human relationships, whether they be with my family, friends, or a significant other. In my opinion, one of the most beautiful ways in which God made us is our desire for relationships: to be in intimacy with others and to share life with them. This is so amazing to me, as I definitely see it in my own life. I have been so blessed to see how community and truly loving relationships add so much beauty to our life (praise God!).
But more than that, I have personally experienced how broken human relationships are. They can be filled with so much selfishness, pride, jealousy, betrayal, and disrespect. Even when I think of some of my most cherished relationships with my family and friends -- they are all affected by our brokenness as individuals. But in my life, the most pain has been caused not by the individual brokenness of myself and the other person, but rather the value and function of that relationship. I have been in the process of evaluating how I view my relationships, what I get out of them and what I put into them, and their role in my life.
My human relationships are so important to me, and often I put them before my school work, sleep, and a lot of times before my relationship with God. OH SNAP. But for real, this is a problem. While it is absolutely wonderful that I have so many people in my life that I care deeply about, it is not absolutely wonderful that I elevate my human relationships above my relationship with my Creator, my Redeemer, my God.
My prayer this week is to desire God: the only relationship that can truly satisfy me. I want to seek God first, and then everything and everyone else after that. There is NOTHING wrong with craving and desiring human relationships, as God created us to be relational beings, but ultimately He needs to be our rock and foundation.
So this might sound kind of abstract and impractical, but here are some tangible questions to think about:
During the past year, God has been revealing some pretty incredible and difficult truths about my human relationships, whether they be with my family, friends, or a significant other. In my opinion, one of the most beautiful ways in which God made us is our desire for relationships: to be in intimacy with others and to share life with them. This is so amazing to me, as I definitely see it in my own life. I have been so blessed to see how community and truly loving relationships add so much beauty to our life (praise God!).
But more than that, I have personally experienced how broken human relationships are. They can be filled with so much selfishness, pride, jealousy, betrayal, and disrespect. Even when I think of some of my most cherished relationships with my family and friends -- they are all affected by our brokenness as individuals. But in my life, the most pain has been caused not by the individual brokenness of myself and the other person, but rather the value and function of that relationship. I have been in the process of evaluating how I view my relationships, what I get out of them and what I put into them, and their role in my life.
My human relationships are so important to me, and often I put them before my school work, sleep, and a lot of times before my relationship with God. OH SNAP. But for real, this is a problem. While it is absolutely wonderful that I have so many people in my life that I care deeply about, it is not absolutely wonderful that I elevate my human relationships above my relationship with my Creator, my Redeemer, my God.
My prayer this week is to desire God: the only relationship that can truly satisfy me. I want to seek God first, and then everything and everyone else after that. There is NOTHING wrong with craving and desiring human relationships, as God created us to be relational beings, but ultimately He needs to be our rock and foundation.
So this might sound kind of abstract and impractical, but here are some tangible questions to think about:
- When something exciting happens to you, who do you talk to first?
- When you are having a bad day and need a release, who do you talk to?
- When you're feeling lonely or insecure about something, what do you do?
- When you need a pick-me-up, who/what do you turn to?
I truly want all of these answers to be GOD. I understand that's really hard, but it's also awesome. There is nothing wrong talking to people about something exciting or telling them about your bad day, but when a dependence develops so that when you don't receive that acceptance and assurance from humans, you feel incomplete or unsatisfied, that's where things get unhealthy.
God, help me to put You first and to seek You before anyone else. Cleanse and purify my human relationships, so that they may be a blessing to You. Help me seek You in my relationships, but before that, help me seek You alone first.
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